I've said in prior posts how I am an "emotional" eater. What that means is that I have limited coping skills in dealing with negative emotions - fear, sadness, loneliness, shame, anger - the list goes on. It's a very similar illness to alcoholism or drug addiction, as I reach for food rather than other substances to alleviate the ill feelings that come with those emotions. I don't really understand how it "medicates", but it actually does (temporarily). It soothes and takes the "edge off" of emotional pain. I don't know how to explain it really but, it's an INSTANT relief.
An article in Epigee explains it like this: Binge eaters will engage in overeating in order to soothe their emotions, deal with daily (stresses), or fill an emotional or physical void in their life. Sufferers often see food as their only true friend. Triggered by anger, depression, boredom, or loneliness, binge eating leaves the sufferer feeling out of control and uncomfortably full. While binges temporarily take away negative feelings, after a binge the sufferer will feel tremendous guilt and shame. They may feel disgusted with themselves, and feel especially unhappy with their body size and shape. However, binge eaters are unable to break the cycle of binges, and will continue to overeat in order to deal with life's daily stresses or emotional problems. (read the entire article here: http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/binge.html)
Even minutes before I began typing this post I went on an eating binge. The day was so long and I was so lonely. Eating or sleeping seemed like the only two ways I could deal with it. Now, I feel regret (knowing that this episode will likely have a negative affect on the scales on Friday). I feel fear (not knowing if I've got control of it for the night). I feel shame (knowing that I haven't got a handle on my emotions).
I don't know I'll keep it from happening again. I'm trying to express myself here on this blog to help share my story and to expose some of these things in hopes that I'll find a way to better myself and end this cycle of self-abuse that has plagued me for too long already. I'm going to find a way out of this so that I can really start living! I want to be happy. To have peace and joy. And to be physically and mentally fit.
....Cheri
An article in Epigee explains it like this: Binge eaters will engage in overeating in order to soothe their emotions, deal with daily (stresses), or fill an emotional or physical void in their life. Sufferers often see food as their only true friend. Triggered by anger, depression, boredom, or loneliness, binge eating leaves the sufferer feeling out of control and uncomfortably full. While binges temporarily take away negative feelings, after a binge the sufferer will feel tremendous guilt and shame. They may feel disgusted with themselves, and feel especially unhappy with their body size and shape. However, binge eaters are unable to break the cycle of binges, and will continue to overeat in order to deal with life's daily stresses or emotional problems. (read the entire article here: http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/binge.html)
Even minutes before I began typing this post I went on an eating binge. The day was so long and I was so lonely. Eating or sleeping seemed like the only two ways I could deal with it. Now, I feel regret (knowing that this episode will likely have a negative affect on the scales on Friday). I feel fear (not knowing if I've got control of it for the night). I feel shame (knowing that I haven't got a handle on my emotions).
I don't know I'll keep it from happening again. I'm trying to express myself here on this blog to help share my story and to expose some of these things in hopes that I'll find a way to better myself and end this cycle of self-abuse that has plagued me for too long already. I'm going to find a way out of this so that I can really start living! I want to be happy. To have peace and joy. And to be physically and mentally fit.
....Cheri
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