November 18, 2009

I Found This On YouTube & It Reflects How I Often Feel

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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousNovember 19, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    I understand where this young woman is coming from--& that, perhaps, is why I find it so sad. While saying that she is not seeking attention for beauty--she flaunts her physical appearance, purposely showing more flesh than someone of normal size would. Unbottoned clothes, plunging neckilines--doesn't want the attention beauty brings, and, yet draws attention to her physical attributes...

    I wonder if she eschews beauty because she does not think she can overcome her desire for comfort sufficiently to achieve it. A version of the child who cries, "I don't want to play with you anyway!" when friend rejects.

    Many times in the past when asked what is important to me, my answer has been "comfort." Comfort. I want to feel soothed and quiet and safe. Yet, those efforts have led to the extreme discomfort of obesity and poor health.

    Yes, I understand this girl. I am sad for us both. For the lost potential that has resulted from a life of pathologically seeking comfort and from the now not-so-safe little hole I've dug myself. My hard sought comfort has produced something else entirely.

    It's time to turn that around--and seek joy instead!

    Deb

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