Tweek Something

If you've read my recent posts you know that I've been struggling for awhile at busting through this plateau I've been on.  I lost a lot of weight right at the start (20 lbs in the first 5 weeks!).  It took me 18 weeks to lose the next 10 to bring me to 30.  That was on 2/18/10.  Since then, I've teetered back and forth, back and forth, losing and gaining (blah, blah, blah) and trying to keep my spirit up about this weight loss endeavor.  I've gone back up over 300#'s twice (forgetting the elation I felt the day I dropped below that mark).  When I gained 6.2 lbs last week, I cried.  I cried as much as I did when I realized I'd gotten up to 328.8 lbs.  I still am so ashamed that I spent so many years out of control until it actually reached that point before I took the reigns.  Gaining 6+ lbs in one week is a huge set-back (especially considering it took the previous 5 weeks to get it off).  Again, those tears brought me to the point of getting serious!  I hate the feeling of being tagged a 300 lb woman!  I hate feeling tired and moody.  I want health!  I want beauty!  I want to feel proud and whole!  I want stability.  I want to end the chaos of emotional eating. 

I was turned on to Spark People by a friend here (thanks D.) and it's helped me a lot.  It's given me a guide to eating healthier than I was before.  I'm not bashing Weight Watchers.  Trust me!  I'm not!  Weight Watchers is an AWESOME program and it works!!!  The problem, for me, was that I wasn't making good, healthy food choices within the program.  I was merely staying within in my points allowance.  I wasn't planning meals or grocery shopping.  I was grabbing "whatever" I could get ahold of, counting the points, and moving through without a strategy. 

I used the food plans from Spark People as a guide (adjusting to fit my budget and personal likes/dislikes) for one week and lost 3.8 lbs ... once again delivering me into TwoterVille!  I've said this before, and had to eat my words, but I refuse to become a 300 lb woman again!  I refuse!

The point of this blog entry is to document how I'm feeling about this journey at this point and to encourage any reader to (if you're "stuck") to just change something up.  If what you're doing isn't working...why keep doing it?  Don't set yourself up for failure by being stubborn and close minded.  Make a change.  Get out of your routine.  Don't become ridged that you can't see another route.  As long as you don't alter the destination....the route can be an adventure!!!

Things I discovered this week while I was off that beaten path I was strolling around that same ol' tree:

• If you cook brown rice up ahead of time, you've got "fast food" ready to be cooked in 10 minutes with great vegies and some kinda protein.
• Water with meals counts as water (lol)
• Eating healthy is not as expensive as I told myself...not when you stir-fry
• Having a written plan before you start eating for the day calms the waves of the storm
• Spices?  I'm learning how to use them
• Found out my daughter will eat cabbage (I'd never offered it to her before - and she's 17)
• That I LOVE Skim Extra milk
• That fat free cottage cheese is not nasty (like I thought) when you top it with fresh pineapple
• That black beans, brown rice, onions, bell pepper, mushrooms (all topped w/ff sour cream and salsa) is the worlds most delicious meal (and FAST, healthy, cheap)
• And most importantly....I found I'm worth taking the time to care for, to love, to nourish

I'm doing well.  The changes that are occurring in my mind are affecting my behaviors and my behaviors are affecting my weight.  I'm succeeding...and I'm excited!  I'm at 30 lbs total lost right now.  I've got 10 lbs to go to my next goal.  Won't be long....I'll be there!  Then to 50, and 60, and 70, and 80, and 90, and 100!!!  Only gotta lose 10 lbs 7 more times!  No problem!