The Victory Lies In Small, Attainable Goals

On Thursday, January 28th, I reached a wonderful mile-marker.  I went to the county health department, like I do every week, to use their scales.  (I choose not to have scales at home because I tend to get obsessed with weighing daily, hourly, or even stepping on it 2-3 times in a row).  I weigh all by myself with no one watching and no one to report to.  It's just me and the scales...my accountability partner.

Some history:  By December 3, 2009, I weighed 301 lbs, down 25 lbs from my starting weight of 328.8.  I've been hovering at (or a bit above) 301 since that time.  I had lost my momentum and had become distracted and careless in my commitment  to reach my goal of losing 40 lbs by Jan. 21st (my 45th birthday).   I didn't reach that goal.  However, I didn't quit, and I didn't gain, and I hung in there.  I was still making "better" choices than my pre-journey days and stayed confident that I would get the weight off.  My next mile-marker was to drop below 300 lbs.  

So, I got on the scale and the numbers started tallying.  They searched and teetered and then they stopped.  They stopped at 299.0!!!!!  Two-hundred-ninety-nine pounds!  TWO-HUNDRED-NINETY-NINE POUNDS!!!  Tears welled up in my eyes...just as they're doing again as I type these words.  I had done it!  I had achieved something, that until I thought possible (there was a time when I had surrendered to the "fact" that I would just "be" fat), I never could have attained.  

The very next goal I have to achieve, even before working on the 40# loss, is one I set on Oct. 1, 2009.  That was the day I reached my first goal of losing 5% of my body weight.  That goal I set then was to lose another 5% (to weigh 296.6).  I am so close to that now!    I've got only 2.4 lbs to lose to reach it!  This is exciting!  Reaching (and exceeding) these goals is rewarding and motivating!  Had I set out from the start to lose 153.8 lbs (to reach my "ideal weight" of 175) I would have been overwhelmed.  Rather, I listed some short-range goals and I'm checkin' 'em off, one at a time!!  Done... Done...Done!

I've still got that red dress hanging in the closet.  I'm still going to get that first 40 lbs off.  I'm still going to be posting a new pic at the next 20 lbs lost.  But, what I learned is....I'm capable of this!  I'm deserving of this!  I am changing and becoming more and more in authority over my own thoughts and emotions.  They are having to submit.  I'm emerging victorious day-by-day!  Another thing I learned was that putting time-contraints on myself is only another form of self-abuse.  It doesn't matter when I get there.  It only matters "how" I get there.  How I get there is what will determine whether, or not, I get to stay there once I've arrived.

My next goals (and I don't call 'em "mini-goals" because they're each a "big deal")

1. To reach 30 lbs lost (only .2 to go!)
2. To reach 296.6 (2nd 5% - only 2.4 to go!)
3. To reach 40 lbs lost, wear red dress, take updated pic (only 10.2 to go!)
4. To reach 100 lbs lost (only have to lose 10 lbs 7 more times!)
5. My goal weight = I'll know when I get there!  (No intention of setting it yet)