December 08, 2009

I want to write something positive and encouraging but my heart is broken and weighted down tonight.  I haven't eaten or slept much for several days.  I'm have so much on my mind and in my heart tonight.  I have secret hopes and dreams and desires inside that are even greater than I can confess to myself.  To admit to myself that I love...that I hope....and that I long for something beautiful...yet so inaccessible, is so painful.  I've tried to convince myself that I'm fine in the condition I'm in.  But, I'm so far from fine.  I'm aching.  There is a place inside of me so hollow it echos....screaming to me whenever I'm still.  I find myself avoiding the dark, quiet space in my room, knowing my emptiness will expand in that dreaded darkness.  I love...but am alone.  I'm afraid here.
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 8, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    Hey, Cheri. First, you have a wonderful gift in the way you handle the written word.

    Second, I am so sorry that you're having a painful time. You were so supportive on my blog--even in your own distress. You have such a great heart!

    Feeling things deeply is a gift--although often a painful one.

    A shallow life does not know true joy; it is an emotion that only runs deep. You, my friend, WILL experience that joy. You have a deep heart--a soulready made for joy. Hang in there. God holds you in His strong arms

    Psalm 34:18--"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

    Deb

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  2. CheriDecember 12, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    Deb, I just read your comment today and you lifted me. This morning I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed of myself for being "weak", but you reminded me that it's ok to be tender-hearted. When I read the bible verse you left for me, my Spirit literally jumped and tears of hope came streaming down my face. I'm so grateful for our connection. Perhaps it wasn't by chance. Thank you so much. Thank you so much!

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