"Katie's Lasagna"

When I came to work this morning, I walked into our kitchen to put away the groceries I had brought for my lunches and snacks at the office and found a batch of wonderful smelling pumpkin bread cut up and ready to eat under a tantalizing glass dome display.  I was able to turn away from it only to see a tray full of Italian chocolates on the countertop, as well.  I was so proud of myself for being able to turn away without even a nibble.  Mid-morning I went back to the kitchen to prepare my cottage cheese and berries.  I didn't touch the sugary temptations but wondered to myself whether or not I'd be able to exercise the same will-power throughout the course of the day.  

 

What seemed like only an hour later, my boss pokes her head around the corner to say "lunch is ready!".  I had no idea that lunch was being provided today.  So, whatever it was... it was not in the "plan" for the day.  Then I hear, "It's Katie's lasagna.  It's the BEST lasagna ever!  No, really... the BEST!" 

 

For a moment, I considered having that instead of my sandwich and zip-lock bagged portion of grapes.  But, I quickly reminded myself that I'm capable of making good choices and that whimsical, impulsive decisions are okay from time-to-time, but that I'd already made a couple of those choices this week and that, to continue that pattern, would not lead to the success I know I can experience.

 

So, when asked by the boss if I was going to eat, I had to politely say, "I am, but I'm going to eat the lunch I brought today."  I don't think that I imagined the insulted look on their faces.  I expected to see it actually... although I was hoping I wouldn't. 

 

I'm sitting here on my lunch break... eating my sandwich and grapes and flavored water... feeling proud of my choice but feeling compelled to say something that will redeem myself.  I wonder why that is.  I wonder why I feel the need to apologize or explain my decision?  I wonder why anyone would be offended by my right to decline an impromptu invitation to lunch or dinner or to pass on meals and desserts brought to work?  I wonder why I'm sitting here nervous about backlash for such a simple decision as to what I choose to eat (or what not eat).    I'm not saying there WILL be backlash.  My point is ... why is it a worry? 

 

Something to examine.