I Can Be ME Here

I'm just going to write.  I don't know about what...but I have to start.  I have been away way too long and writing is the best thing for me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Here, I can pour out my soul.  I can scream, rant, rave... or I can strengthen myself with encouraging words and reflection of the positives in my day, my week, my life.  I can be ME here.  Just me.  Not having to choose my words to please someone... or appease someone.  My words aren't judged.  If someone stumbles across my posts and don't like the way I phrase something... or don't like my attitude... they simply move on without incident... without bitter words.  And if they like it... they may comment and tell me they struggle just like me.  Or, they might tell me "it's gonna be okay"... or "you got this!"... or "chin up Buttercup!".  I can just write.  I can use this page as a tool for change.  I can use it to plan, to reflect, to shine, to run and hide in.  I can be ME here.  When I'm confused and don't know why, or how, or who I am... I can write.  I don't have to find solutions here.  I can just write.  Sometimes I don't even know the problem I have or know how I feel until I come here and write.  I've been away too long.  It reflects in my weight.  It reflects in my withdrawal and isolation.  It reflects in relationships.  This page, in the past, has been my salvation.  It's been here to "check" me... and keep me on pointe.   This page reminds me of the hope I have.  It's a compass to me.  I've waited 'til I got in "the mood" to write.  Frankly, I'm not in the mood now...hence the rambling.  But, this page is life to me.  I need it.  I need to be here.  This is my rooftop from where I'll scream and roar!  This is my place of refuge.  This is my teacher.  This is my BFF.  This is where my present state (at any given time) is revealed.  This is where I check my location, regain my bearings, and see my destination.  I will be here.  I will come here every day.  I will come here tomorrow.  Goodnight.